I like boys that are:

Jake wears tighty whities


Sources reveal that Jake Gyllenhaal was spotted in the underwear department of a Bloomingdale's recently sifting through all of the tightey whities. He was going through every single brand, taking them out and examining them.
A source said, "He looked very confused and had a furrowed brow . . . He was examining undies like an anthropologist in the city's most highly trafficked department store."
Damn! Can't a homo practice his fetish in peace without everyone tattling on him? Damn.

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